One person not 1%

Sometimes we have those days where we realize we can’t keep saying yes to everything, and sometimes we do say no. Today was one of those days for me, because as much as we always want to be there for our friends and for everyone else, we can’t just bury everything going on and be there, possibly hearing the same thing over and over again.

You know, sometimes you’ve got to realize that saying no is a way to be there for yourself. Because if your energy isn’t perfect every single day, are we always mentally ready to give advice to somebody else? Or are we physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to hear what someone else is dealing with?

Yes, we are all dealing with something. But even when you’re working—whether it’s part-time, full-time, or if you’re an entrepreneur—there is always something to deal with. At the same time, even though we’re all dealing with things and we’re all in this together, will there be a time when we say no to somebody else, who then says to you later, “I really needed a friend and you weren’t there”?

Well, I’ve got to be there for myself first. And if I can’t do that, then how am I supposed to be there for you?

I guess the point of this post—and so many of my posts recently have been inspired by conversations—is this: put yourself first. Know that sometimes saying no is also putting yourself first and being there for yourself.

So if you’re at work and you have competing priorities, and people keep asking you for things, is there a time when you can actually say no, knowing that it’s not for you to handle? It’s for the other person to handle. So when you’re at your job or you’re doing what you need to do, figure out for yourself and for them what is really for you to figure out. It’s not for me to do and handle for you.

When have you encountered these times in your job or with your friends? This was me today. For once, I said no—I don’t have the energy. That person didn’t like it. Okay. I can’t please everyone all the time. I’m not in that people-pleaser phase anymore, because there’s a healthy way to please and there’s also an unhealthy way.

So when can we recognize these moments in our life and at our job? It’s a lot. Sometimes life is a lot. It’s not always easy. But I had one person who did agree with me today—my naturopath. She said, “No, you can’t muster it up and cover it up and always be there for everyone. Sometimes you do say no.”

So if you’re reading this now, I’m asking you: when have you said no instead of saying yes?